


Of Fire and Ghosts

by proof_i_read_too_much



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Angst, Big dumb, F/F, F/M, Hate, Inspired by Six of Crows, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Post-Book 2: Crooked Kingdom, Pre-Book 1: Six of Crows, Stupidity, What Was I Thinking?, and im in the house bored, bored in the house, but like, pekka - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:33:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25234711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/proof_i_read_too_much/pseuds/proof_i_read_too_much
Summary: Ghosts are a part of anyone's history. And yet, when a group haunted by many, finds itself once again facing impossible odds, pasts too painful to bear collide with the present as enemies meet. What happens when people are forced to face the demons of history?As everyone faces loss, love, and new beginnings, new threats come to rise as life in the city adjusts from the changes in life following the wake of chaos. Across the sea, the once animated body of a dearly beloved is burried and made to return to his god- no matter the costs those left will take to risk returning his corpse to the homeland. New powers, new dangers, new faces, and pasts come to light create what might yet become the most dangerous situation faced
Relationships: Inej Ghafa/Nina Zenik, Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck, Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Matthias Helvar/Nina Zenik
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter One

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The fog was a wet, suffocating blanket over the great city. It was one of those nights where the damp hung in the air and seeped into your very soul. Despite the chill, the lone shadow appeared to wear no overcoat, nothing to actually shield from the elements. The streets were a twisting labyrinth that, coupled with the great canals, made the giant hub a dangerously confusing place to both those that lived there as merchants and marketers and people merely staying a night as their ships came into port. The city was crowded, for it was the capital of a tiny island in the middle of the sea and functioned as the place where all trading channels made their way to wherever destination. Those that lived there, or the majority, varied in class, the most wealthy and powerful merchants, families of stadwatch, those who were drawn by the education chance, and caterers to the citizens. Yes, there were niche places where one's culture flourished more than ever, like Little Ravka, with embassies. Shops and theatres and everything in between attracted most everyone.

Except the most brazen, most foolish of drunken sailors. Then they would venture into the city’s underbelly, even more cramped and unkept. The part of the city with the most impoverished, seedy businesses and customers, and a crucible for some of the deadliest characters. The long smothered child in Vesta gave a shake, trying to unearth the shivers that lodged in her conscious- but that was a near forgotten fragment of what now made up her shattered soul. She was now too, a dangerous force. The parts that still wept at what she had endured, what she lost were secured firmly in a casket at the center of her soul and guarded with every obsidian wall she could obtain. Had she not sealed those, along with her ability to feel any emotion necessary to empathy, she could have been honest about the reason she was so skittish at the moment. Compared to her past, the future was dreamy no matter how brutal. She would not be distracted though. The mission was not a hunt for two ghosts. No they were most likely holed up in humble, yet nice houses in Ketterdam, still working for that Hertzoon that her love had mentioned in the letters they had sent when he had remembered her. They hadn’t lasted long enough though, not enough time for her to realize and by then….. No ghosts. 

“Saints,” a hushed breath of air left Vesta’s mouth. She didn’t even believe in the Saints or any hypothetical power from above. Neither did the only people she had once loved. Perhaps ghosts were inevitable for this job. Especially with her target sharing the name of one of her lost friends. But ghosts, especially ones from the past, were never helpful and she couldn’t afford any distractions especially with the delicate nature of this particular job. 

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Kaz didn’t know what he expected would happen when Inej was reunited with her parents. Truthfully, he knew it would be a long shot if the boy-king was capable. And yet Sturmhond- Nikolai had been more than adequate for such a task. What he had not expected in any scenario was that Inej would desire him and her parents meeting. 

“Is my tie straight?” and Inej’s laugh was the most wonderful thing he had heard. He followed Inej and waited a few feet away as she ran and with all her grace slammed up against the hard wall of her parents. The sounds of reunion fortified whatever doubts he had about using the favors he was owed. For this it was worth it. The joy and relief and it all washed over Kaz. He allowed a split second to think about those he would not get to be reunited with until he managed to make a deal with whatever Death-God was out there. His brother’s spirit was a constant haunting his moves and decisions though he still had loved him. And then that girl, the first Suli girl he had met, like a sister to him in only the best ways. Those memories were so fuzzy and yet. He shut them down.

“Mama, Papa,” Inej had reached him and behind her were two people that were undoubtedly her parents. They carried themselves with the reserved dignity and honor that she did. Kindness radiated off of them in waves, carried by the burning of the sun forming ripples in the fabric of sight. Gratitude beyond what Kaz had imagined. And an unique almost never seen raw emotion of hope long science lost being found. 

“This is Kaz.” She cleared her voice before continuing, “not all of this story is mine to tell, we are all just intertwining stings of fate and mine is tangled with my most dearest friends and he is no exception.” Kaz tried for a warm smile before promptly deciding he looked like a toddler’s nanny on parem. 

“Honor to meet you both,” with dread he realized he wasn’t wearing his gloves, and there was no foreseeable way to take them from his pocket before the handshaking could commence. Not a minute will have passed before they realize what a wreck he was. Better than knowing _who_ he was. The Bastard of the Barrel, Dirtyhands-

“He saved me from the Menagerie.” Something shuttered in Inej’s eyes at the mention of where she had been enslaved and sold time after time. “He saved me from a life worse than death. And taught me to utilize what you had given me- honed me into a weapon for which I could always defend myself.” 

Kaz had not expected that she would start by over exaggerating his character. Although it made sense- it wasn’t as if she would introduce him as the notorious gang member, cunning and brutal, cruel and oh so dangerous. His outward appearance showed no indication of his inner thoughts as usual. “I have you two in a room at this hotel. There are some unsavory parts of town. Although three is nothing to worry about where you're staying, I have ensured you are in the safest part of town. Just if you are to mill about unaccompanied by one familiar, please be vigilant.” They looked dazed in wonderment and Kaz turned away and began heading up to the main roads. Inej told her parents that everything would be dropped off at their rooms later today. He pretended he didn’t notice their eyes on his back as he made his way to the safest path into the city. 

“You didn’t have to make the Dregs escort us into the city.” a hushed and almost amused voice sounded just off to his right. 

“I told them to be discreet,” Kaz was exhausted, his leg throbbing and body aching and was in no mood to have to chew out anyone. “I don’t want you having to explain them-or me- to your parents until you want to. _If_ you want to.”

Inej’s eyes softened and though Kaz wasn’t looking at her, she knew he could feel it. “I only noticed because I _know_ them. Anika and the other few you trust the most.” Inej was drowning in emotion but Saints she couldn’t believe Kaz. What he had done for her… she sneaked a glance at him and found him looking relieved. Was he worried about her parents perception of him? 

“Look I have the room next to your parents occupied by Anika.” Kaz’s raspy voice filled Inej’s ears. “Don't freak out” Inej’s heart glowed, at the extraordinary lengths to bring and then keep her parents safe. She suddenly felt a sense of dread come onto her, quick and hot like a furnace’s center. She was driving herself crazy wondering how to tell her parents what she had been doing, what she had done since she had been taken from their arms. But right now, she would just thank her Saints and live with her loved ones as fully as possible. 

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Vesta traveled through the city, inconspicuous to both wealthy and poor, stadwatch and police. She had long since learned the special artforms of settling in, unnoticed and quiet, in any crowd. First as a way to appear mundane, then to survive, and it was now her biggest defenses in her… _career_ . Unsavory words floated out from under her breath in a steady gust of air. The city was awful. Stale air and dirty streets lined with a particularly disgusting mix of runoff water and garbage. Canals filled with stagnant waters. _And the people._ The monument to Gheezen… Kerch culture was Kruge and profit but this city was a whole other level. 

She too would fit right in though- considering the reason she was here. Until now she had found work from pretentious employers in the countryside, usually sums of money for the razing of fields, the occasional examples made of unfortunate souls. Traveling around these rural yet decently populated places selling her skills had been okay, but now Vesta had taken on such a job in a desperate hope to keep her father's farm. Not because the house held something precious. _‘No ghosts.’_ The little reminder was quickly becoming a mantra again. She would not, could not go back. To when she had begun training herself, ruthless on her healing body and relentless on escaping the haunting that never quite left. She was out of practice, unfortunately in the physical sense. Her once firm abdomen had softened to the way it had been in childhood, her body becoming curvy as she became stronger in other ways than physical fighting. She no longer utilized those skills and despite knowing full well neglecting these practices would bite her in the ass, she didn’t care. Let it be her demise. Better than meeting the end vengeful ghosts like her father were carving out for her. Even her child would probably be cheering him along. 

_Meet me at the old silos. Dont fuck up before you even begin._ The script was nearly illegible and the crude outline of a route was no help at all. She suspected as much from the man. She had been approached in a small countryside by a prominent merchant from this city but never such a slimy forked tongued creature as a so-called Rollins. And never for such a job. A job that was so loose ended at that. She had gone around and around with him before accepting he was an obnoxious and vague prick The upcoming week would be hell as she stalked his victims. Five of the most dangerous criminals were her targets. Her curse echoed in her ears. 

⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷

Kaz was making his way back to the Slat. It was nearly light again- Inej had decided to take her parents to the VanEck household to meet the others and despite all the work that needed to be done, Kaz had found himself outnumbered and ended up staying until the sky began to turn a grayish green as light began to fill the wet day. It had been an odly mundane evening, drinking and eating, talking for hours getting to know parents. Though those conversations had been guarded and tentative. After escorting Inej’s parents to the hotel to retire, he was going to make his way back home when Inej caught his arm. 

“What do I tell them about what I’ve done?” The anxiety had seeped off her soul as she began walking back. “That what I did in the Menagerie was the least of my sins since I lost them?” 

Even now he clenched his jaw and raged at Tante Heleen and all of the wretch’s customers. But all he had said was “What you did in there was survive abhorrent circumstances. And you have continued to do so. Tell them as much or as little as you want- it is your choice. If I were Wylan or even Jes, I would offer uplifting words and endless empathy.” At that she had frowned and whispered how he was less a monster than he thought before they lapsed into their usual comfortable silence. 

Perhaps it was him ruminating on this conversation, or the way the four of them had then talked honoring Mathias and missing Nina, or the guilt the Fyjerian’s name invoked but Kaz took far too long to notice he was being followed. The chill air warmed and memory stirred his senses if not his brain. He noticed how easy it was to lose them and wondered briefly if it was Jordie’s ghost haunting him by bringing someone from the countryside into his city. 

The Slat was quet, everyone asleep and Kaz gave into his body’s complaints as he slowly made his way up three agonizing flights. He had messed his leg up on the Ice Court job, when he had saved Inej after that asshole had stabbed her, and hadn’t slowed down since. But now without the imminent danger and inability to rest for more than an hour at a time, well … he had thought his body had hated him when he passed out in the hotel as the VanEck business came to a tumultuous end. His leg was giving him an extra hard time tonight after the walking from the Slat, to the docks, to the VanEck house, to the hotel, back to Wylan’s, and finally to his attic room. Which was at the top of the fucking building. 

A low hiss escaped him as he finally lowered himself into a sitting position and he cursed himself for taking up room here. It wasn’t the first time but he also maintained his reasons for his residence at the top of the stairs. He cursed soundly when he saw the window open, and painfully made his way to shut it. _‘Stupid fucking birds’_ he knew the thought was irrational but

“What the hell is that?” His eyes soaked in a flare of light in the horizon. Not the sun, for it was in the wrong direction, but presumably by the edge of the warehouses. Like fire… but it didn’t behave like a bon fire. He had seen this once before. “ _Holy fucking hell.”_ His voice was sharp and vicious as he continued to swear with enthusiasm. He knew who was following him, and it wasn’t just anyone who had been sent into his city. It was a ghost right from Kaz’s earliest memories. Shit. 

⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ones short sorry- I have finals for some online summer classes this week so don't have as much/enough time to write or the brain cells to either. It just doesn't really do justice to anything and Ill most likely be redoing all of the crap I write this week later. Anyways Nina makes an entrance though so theres something. I feel like we all could use a bit of Nina right now, ya know?

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_The leaves of the trees on the outskirts of the property, some giving in to the call of the breeze, begging everything to give up everything to float along in the cool gusts that tickled. The released leaves danced in harmony with it's partner; it had given everything for- for the unchecked joy of simply existing in harmony._

_"Wait!" A squat little thing, maybe seven or eight with a mop of dark hair stomped over the fallen leaves. ", hey! It's not fair!"_

_The voice of a young man responded with laughter and a hint of arrogance that only one's subconscious could really pick up on. "What are we talking about?" The tall lanky figure that had to be the little one’s brother (for they looked too alike for it to be anyone else) tried to ruffle his brother's hair and failed._

_"She's my friend too!" A tiny foot stomped the rich and hard packed dirt. He couldn't have them be closer and leave him on the edge of the relationship._

_The fields of the properties bordered on one another and the younglings quickly became fast friends. The younling had found a sister and a maternal figure in his life suddenly. He confided in her and loved her. But she was close to his brother’s age and he noticed the two of them becoming closer. He didn't want to start being shoved to the edge of the little family the three formed._

_"I know," the voice crouched down and was eye level, two coffee eyes staring at each other. "I need to go see her though, she's hurt and I don't want you to witness the blood."_

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Shaking, the Bastard of the Barrel jolted out of his memories, nauseous, and scrambled to get his gloves on again. The last time he had remembered that fateful night was…. Well ever since he had lost his older brother to the water, it was as though his life before coming to Ketterdam was not his own. They were like a dream of a time that had never been and the horrors and the suffering that was Ketterdam the only, however brutal, reality. 

What he had seen… he had seen the flame that had warmed him on cold days, and sung with all its raging beauty through the night sky. A blend of colors so unearthly tracing the imprint of a long gone saint. Whites and yellows and reds, the deep blue that couldn’t be described or recreated by the best artist only lived in the deepest alleyways of Kaz’s memories. Until tonight. 

No classically trained Grisha had ever used their powers like the way he had first seen. After spending so much time with Nina, and then the short time with her band of refugees, he knew that they didn’t use their skills like that. But it couldn’t have been the same…. Kaz let his breath steady. It wasn’t possible. It couldn’t have been the same person. He was exhausted, most likely hallucinating. But then Fjerdian's voice nagged at him. _‘So, the demjin finally lets the phantoms and hellbeasts catch up.”_ And as much as Kaz had respected that morally righteous giant, his guilt, he felt comforted immediately. There were no hell beasts coming to devour him and drag his soul to damnation. If the tree-worshipper even believed in that. It was all the same to Kaz. While he was up though, there was some work that he could do. 

⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷

The sky on the ship back to Ravka had been varying shades of grey and it was as though the world itself wept for Mathias. After the first few days, Nina had shriveled up like one of those delicious dried fruits. Her body had simply poured all of the water out of her eyes- and most disgustingly her nose as she had sobbed and raged and even once wailed like an evil spirit straight out of the Komodie Brute. But everyone had kept forcing water down her throat as she had laid perfectly still next to the preserved body, unable to move, to breathe but had still lived on. And so within forty-eight hours of her transformation into a living prune, rivers of agony once again dampened her face and the pillow beneath her. 

And yet, as the ship had docked, rays of sun managed to permeate the clouds that had shielded her from the harsh reality. Someone, she didn’t know and didn’t care who, helped her get out of bed slowly. They assured her that her beloved’s body was soon to follow and Nina almost climbed back into bed at that thought. And they had led her, a steady arm supporting her, down the plank that allowed the spillage of people off the ship. And in that moment, she was slowly making her way down back onto the docks of Ketterdam. Her body ravaged by the lack of parem, Nina had gripped Mathais’s arm, his other wrapped around her waist supporting her, murmuring encouragement. “Just a bit farther. You're doing great, my little red-bird.” 

With his voice echoing through her soul, Nina jerked suddenly away from whomever was helping her. A scream sounded, and the person who was beginning to prepare Mathais’s body to be moved into the carriage dropped it. On the docks, bones had amassed from the small graveyard nearby and created semi formed skeletal shapes. A cloth was pressed over her face and she recognized the sweet and rotted scent of a simple yet efficient drug to put her to sleep. 

⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷

As she awoke, Nina became aware first that she was only a few miles outside her home. The Mathais shaped hole in her heart was once again washed in stinging tears as she realized he would never get to see the little palace, never get to try the amazing food or smell the sweet perfume of the city. She remembered how appalled he had been at the thought of those flaming alcohol soaked fruits and longed to drift back into that blissful dark sleep, away from the pain. But instead she just turned her head from the window and stared at the cushion and didn’t move. 

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Over the barren desert that used to be nothing but deadly darkness and across the storming seas, a woman stood at a large makeshift table of a great ship. One of the most feared members of a huge underground ring, known for its wide variety of trades. This syndicate had no name, but had more than a reputation. With it’s unique hierarchy and set up, it was more of a well oiled machine, multi faceted and deadly. 

“There’s news.” A scrawny looking boy with blond hair so streaked with grime it looked three shades darker announced. The woman had to give him credit- he was unafraid and bold, which made him the perfect right hand to her. His teeth flashed white with glee. “It's about that red headed ass from Kerch. He hired this villager girl from out of the city but when I dug into her past… well lets just say Kaz Brekker and his little crew don’t stand a chance.”

“Very good Leandor. You have proven an unexpected yet pleasant surprise. We are lucky to have you- and I even more so to have you as my right hand.” in a quiet dismissal, the head of the most notorious and dangerous organizations ever turned her attention back to the slab of flesh on the wooden surface. 

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	3. Chapter Three

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“Kaz?” Inej had gone to the Slat first thing in the afternoon- she had stayed awake until the soft glow of dawn had streamed through the curtains onto her pillow. 

Talking with her parents, she decided she would tell them everything. All of her. But then as she spoke, she found herself glossing over the worst- saying to survive she had merely become a spy not The Wraith. She had talked, voice strong throughout until she got to the part of Mathais. But her parents, listening, had cried and wept at it and her stomach had twisted so tightly that she wondered if she might die. More scared than when she had actually been wounded in near to the same spot not long ago, Inej didn’t know what might happen to her if her parents turned from her after knowing what she had done to people. But they stayed quiet, respectful until she found her own voice beginning to waver and then they were piled on her and whispering soothing words and she was sobbing from she didn’t even know what. 

And now it was a little after two and she was at the top of the stairs, worried. As usual, Inej had first gone to the window where she fed the crows out of habit only to find it locked and curtains drawn. So she had made her way to his door, stopping to chat with Anika shortly.

“He hasn’t come out all morning,” the girl had whispered to her once Inej had shut the door to her room for privacy. “I saw him come home super late last night and he looked to be in pain- nothing bloody or anything- but you know, his leg as well as just kind of worn out.” 

“But that's never stopped him before.” Inej hadn’t known whether to be relieved he wasn't on Death’s door or more concerned because anything less than that couldn’t explain his even more unusual behavior today.

She rapped on the door once again. And again. She was about to go out and look for him when his rasping voice called out, “Go away!” 

Inej was now worried he was just acting like this to _her_ , that he was angry about her leaving or something? “Kaz it's me.” She decided to try something else. “Look, I need your help, I think the Razorgulls are stirring up trouble.” Sure enough, his uneven footsteps sounded- Anika was right- and then a scraping noise sounded and he appeared to her, looking like the boy she had first seen in the Menagerie; bitter dead eyes set in deep circles and that muscle jumping at his sharp jaw. He wore those trademark gloves and bore no resemblance to the boy she had come to know. 

“What’s happening with them?” _Shit_. Inej forgot about what had gotten him to come out of the room at all. She stuck her foot in the door before responding. 

“I wanted to tell you, I told my parents everything.” Of all the things to say… 

Kaz immediately turned but didn’t close the door. On second glance, he seemed to be slightly unkempt which was unlike him. When Inej looked past him she was shocked. Papers were strewn across the floor, and well, his room was a mess. It was though he had let his rage get the better of him- and the room. She had seen him angry, seen him rage before and heard what he had done when she had been hurt, when Jan had taken her. But never in such a disorganized way. He didn’t burn with it or hurl things. For him, the rage froze over any emotion, anything that allowed him to be human, and he became like some icy, unearthly creature. Hellish in its own right. Hell was cold- that freezing rage. But this was… another thing entirely. 

“Well then,” his voice wasn’t angry, it was _pissed_ and laced through with agony and poison. “Leave. If this was just a calling card-”

“I. What’s wrong Kaz? Let us help.” Wrong thing to say. He stalked out of the room barking that if she was going to stay ‘fine but don’t let anyone on this floor okay?’ and she was alone and bewildered. 

⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷

On the other side of the city, Vesta found herself going around in circles and cursing everything silently. Her father, the idiot Barrel bitch boy who hired her, the world, _herself_. If she was being honest, which she wasn’t, she was angry at herself. For being weak then. For being weak now. For having seriously considered for a second the possibility of inquiring around after two boys, about twenty-two and now seventeen now. Saints. The boy she had once considered her baby brother would be about the same age as she had been when she had learned she was pregnant. 

“Only a bit longer.” She now was speaking to herself like a madman. She gave an awkward nod to an officer, hoping it would just look like she was merely already losing her inhibitions from the piss the city called a drink. “And then you can kill this person, burn their property and go back and live out the rest of your miserable life.” 

_Meet Leandor at the White Rose, he's my best spider and says he gathered new information._ This note was worse than the last one. On top of the awful handwriting of her employer, coffee stained the paper and blurred the wobbly lines. She had spent a good fifteen minutes trying to decipher it. Leandor better have something before she killed everyone in this saint's forsaken place. It was official: Vesta loathed everyone in the goddamn world, in the entire universe. Within her, a serpent blanked it’s bleary eyes awake, and made to begin uncoiling it’s smokey body. 

“Hey,” the kid looked like a piece of straw, albeit a straw that sent bells pealing in warning within Vesta. “You must be Vesta.” It was now that she became increasingly wary of the way his eyes, mismatched, followed all but her face and the way his pupils dilated with lust. “I-” 

“Yes, yes I know who you must be. The one mentioned in the illegible note I received, with information to undermine and use against this so call Bastard of the Barrel.” Vesta was so sick of these _males_ with their entitled sense of self and inflated image that they saw in the mirror. The ones who thought everyone worshiped at their feet and loved them no matter what- and never understood that they weren’t actually loved. “Well?” 

“Heres what I told Rollins: Kaz’s weakness is his crew, especially the ones that he apparently took on a fools errand to get the maker of some new drug. Allegedly thats how Jan screwed him over right before the auction that sparked us hiring you.” As an easy grin began to spread Vesta could see his tooth was chipped in a way that made her heart contract. The person she had… her- it was such a minor thing and in the name of all things holy! She had to get over what this job had dredged up. He continued giving her a bunch of information, of which about one percent actually was useful. “Ill tell you something super helpful though,” his face contorted into a smirk, “that not even Rollins knows but anyone in this place would find invaluable. All you have to do is kiss me.” With her eyes rolling far back into her head, Vesta began to turn and leave- he was so obviously trying to get something and had nothing to offer. He continued to boost his own overly large ego to no end about this so called end of days invaluable information. And then he made her pull her closer to him. Her already absence patience had all but disappeared. 

At that, Vesta made to slap him before he caught her wrist. And her own face couldn’t help but grin, feral and full of mirth. “Nice try.” He had made it so easy for her. His hiss of pain and curses followed her as she left him doubled over and clutching his arm, the bones itself burned. Yes, she might be a mess but she was still dangerous, deadly even with barely any effort. It felt good to be reminded of what she could do. 

⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷

Kaz didn’t go far. He wanted to stay close to the Slat as though his Barrel reputation and well known status throughout Kerch could keep his childhood ghosts at bay. He wondered again whether this was just Jordie’s endgame, planned for years in the making. Ever since he had died and now, well it would end soon because now was when things were starting to just maybe be alright. Kaz leaned against the wall and ran his gloved fingers through his hair. He knew Inej was… her face and seemed so disappointed when he’d left and he understood. But he just could not deal with pushing himself like that right now. He had no idea what was going on and he hated it. 

“I’m sorry.” Kaz had no clue why he said it outloud. “I’m so so sorry.” This was a pathetic display of weakness and you couldn’t be weak and especially couldn’t show it. And yet here he was struggling to draw enough air into his lungs and then he suddenly doubled over and vomited. _Damn it._ What would the Dregs say, _think_ , to see him so unnerved over something so miniscule.

What would anyone say? And the fact that this absolute bitch still held so much power over him- well if she got to him, he would drag her down into hell with him. There was a promise he could keep and he was quite the expert in this area. He began heading back to the Slat, his mind already analyzing and thinking- scheming. His jaw tightened and his lips tugged up slightly in a hard smirk though his eyes were now that glazed, dead shark eyes. Kaz Reitveld stood no chance against this, hell Brekker didn’t because Brekker cared too much. But Dirtyhands might stand a chance at whatever the larger plot was and first, well he needed information. With that, the Bastard of the Barrel made his way through the streets, hellbent on his next mission. 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its getting worse but lemme know if u got suggestions please cause im struggling


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk im back? still in a giant writers block for everything thats not school or political essays related lmao sorry. imma keep writing as much as possible and ig just expect the creativity to just be snail like. sorry again also the chapter is starting to reflect the lack of creative writing juices so if theres anything yall want to see more or less of please tell me

**Chapter Four**

The sky was sinfully gorgeous. Her home horrifically comforting. The place from her dreams, the fantasies that had gotten her through those first couple of nights in the frigid wasteland. But now, now her home had become the blonde warrior, honorable and good to a fault. So good he had been able to betray his own country for righteousness sake. Nina’s entire body ached with an agony unlike anything else on this earth. Agony that a healer couldn’t possibly ease, agony that afflicted not the body but the soul- the very core of someone. 

“Nina,” the golden hair shone in the setting sun, more of a halo than a crown, as Nikolai stepped forwards, “I have my most trusted guards right now. Will you allow them to transport Mathias inside? Our Corpalnik friends need to work as soon as possible.” 

“Yes.” Gratitude for the king, for not offering sweet nothings, for not looking at her with the sadness

usually found in the eyes whilst discussing the one type of loss no one could come back from. It allowed the corner of her mouth to twitch upwards, just a fraction despite the agony of the word. It felt like a huge damned victory though. He nodded and beckoned with a two fingered gesture behind him, not breaking eye contact. 

“When I said come back to our army, I meant it.” There was no pity, no sorrow in the words, but no pressure or obligation. It was simply a statement. Kind words, still oozing his signature charm, and the familiarity gave Nina something to hold onto. “Know there isn’t any pressure either way. Your own pace to this.” 

Nina stared past him. The sun was at that perfect angle in it’s descent. Lighting the world into brilliant, golden and orange hues. Giving magic to even the pebble on a path. The clouds reflecting the colors of the sky, the wind, the earth. Making everything resplendent no matter how ordinary. It was her favorite time of day. It was typically appreciated with a quiet reverence amongst many Grisha. A time in which the sources of their abilities were truly in perfect harmony within each other.  _ Like calls to like. _ The cool caress of the breeze on a face stained with grief and the winds that blew the clouds from around the world, the way metal and earth alike gleamed with an inner light unique to this moment before dusk, the sun shining in warm to illuminate the natural beauties of the world- the world that was the Grisha’s to manipulate. And the shadows bring everything into a sharp relief, essential to the beauty in the way it complements everything. 

“Welcome home.” 

_ “We’re going home.” _ The joyful anticipation in those words, whispered in her ear the night before the fateful auction. Nina shook, her body trembling with the pain. 

“No.” At one time the mere thought of saying those words would have horrified Nina, the way her beloved had been horrified at just about anything fun. But he was no longer here, and Nina no longer belonged to anyone but the Dead. “My home was with my family. And I cannot be with my family. I will  _ never _ be home again.”

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Inej liked the blonde across from her. Anika was a force of nature, savage and wild- not someone any world would care to mess with. An underrated force of nature, to be fair. After Kaz had stalked off to Saints knew where, the girl had come up behind her. “I hate to say I told you so,” the girl had said, a crooked smile on her face, “but-”

“You told me so.” The two of them knew better than to clean up while Kaz was out in some foolhardy attempt to help. Kaz, unlike most people, saw something like that- no matter how well meaning- a valid reason to maim. Now they were in Anika’s room, a level below and just as cramped to Inej. She was sure Jes would have an entirely different opinion on this, seeing as it was on the far end and the roof slanted leaving little room for anyone tall. When Inej had first joined the Dregs, Anika had been the one to make her feel safe at first. Only a week or two longer than Inej, they had found peace in each other. Kaz had taken Anika when he found her being thrown out of one of the dingy, stale casinos. By now, it would surprise no one to know that she had become scarily similar to Kaz, the same brilliance and good with cards too.

“Who knows what’s up with him. Boss has never been one to actually tell anyone their plans. We just watch it unfold, more often than not getting caught up in the efficiency of it.” Inej wondered if she should talk to Anika about this now or later. But what the hell if anything was a reminder from her Saints that life can never slow lest it be ripped away, the past week was it. 

“You're not half bad.” Inej nudged Anika with her shoulder as she sat down besides her. “I could use someone like you to be my right hand on the Wraith.” 

Anika gave a smile that was pure Barrell, a wider version of the sharks. “Oh. wow that would be something.” Inej couldn’t hide the pleasant surprise until…, “I think I’m needed here. It sounds to me like what you're after is a you. Someone to be to you what you are to the Dregs. No ones like you but I am a far cry from that. Remember when I broke my hand by accidentally slamming a drawer on it.” 

Inej’s snort of barely contained laughter was most unbecoming of her. “Kaz had been so pissed. He didn’t want you to lose the ability to be his lockpicking apprentice. But no, I don’t want a me. I need a you. I need someone with that level of strategic skill.” Anika was like Kaz’s third. She had done what Kaz typically does and in all but name, run the Dregs and Barrel whilst they were on the ice court job. Held it together while they were fugitives. Always there when Inej couldn’t be, when even Kaz himself couldn’t and loyal to a fault. 

“So you need Kaz. Look Inej you don’t need anyone, your damn good at whatever you do. The only person I can think of like you in that regard might be Nina.” Inej didn’t miss the way Anika lingered on that name, the way the vein in her neck jumped. It was so obvious. “Besides, I think I ought to stay here. Give Ketterdam a chance. Someone in this place needs to be able to speak Boss’s language. You can give me advice on that. And I’ll be able to give you information and leads.” 

Saints, Inej was going to miss this girl so fucking much. Her first friend here. Anika clearly thought the feelings were mutual. And then a sharp rap at the door and a dark figure in the doorway broke up the moment. The blonde voiced that, in a playfully annoyed banter. 

“Sorry,” Kaz’s rasp was carefully controlled, raw with repressed emotions, “but there’s a real situation going on. I’m going to need to use this room for a minute. I don’t want anyone knowing or overhearing when they try to talk to me.” 

Anika was halfway out of the room, unperturbed by the subtle yet firm dismissal. “Talk later?” Inej was already getting up, checking her knives secured on her persons when- 

“Stay.” Everyone in the room was surprised to hear that word leave his mouth and yet, “I trust you.” Anika threw a bewildered look at Inej, clearly asking about whether this was expected to her. Inej’s face mirrored hers though. Kaz saying openly he trusts someone like this was like an expecting mother saying she loved someone enough to let them sacrifice the child to a heathen god. 

“You sure Boss?” Anika looked like she half hoped she would get dismissed and half hoped she’d stay. At his curt nod she shrugged. “What’s up? We gonna fight another corrupt merch? I mean the city is full of them. I'm at the Dreg’s disposal.” 

“You seriously need to cut back on the caffeine. Or drugs whichever it is I don’t care but you’re too… ” a gloved hand made an all encompassing gesture, “excited for the Barrel.” Anika looked taken aback. Like she wanted to point out that most of the Dregs would be buzzing with energy at the thought of a cool job. Inej had less qualms about voicing such a thing. 

“We have a situation that does not have time for this.” Inej studied him a bit closer, noting how disheveled he looked. He usually seemed so put together. “No more squabbling.” Anika opened her mouth looking for all the world like she wanted to excuse herself but Inej understood why suddenly she was here. Anika might not realize but Kaz clearly realized he would need a right hand and without Inej, Anika was the only other one he trusted with business. 

“How many of you know what happened to Ryzec- the wealthy landowner in the farming lands just outside the city?” Kaz looked too pale and almost queasy. 

“The guy who unofficially totally owns a giant slave population to help keep the grounds kept?” Anika’s fingers were long pianist’s fingers. Once upon a time she had played on a grand piano, in a truly horrendous way only children could. They made a little bouncy movement as she spoke, the disgust plain in her voice. 

“The one who mysteriously had an ‘accident’? Where his entire property was burned to the ground?” Kaz nearly looked comical pacing in such a small space, too tall to stand up right much less straight without smacking his head on the slanted roof. “Where he walked away unharmed except for a small burn?”

“Didn’t he die in a couple of days?” Inej had heard about that- all of the crows had heard something although the reason for the boss’s mood that day had been above most of their pay grades. 

“A week and a half. A week and a half of the worst possible agony imaginable. It turned out the burn was fourth degree but it didn’t hurt and there wasn’t enough to cause concern.?”

“Makes sense,” Anika looked particularly haunted, she had been in the possession of a ruthless master before Kaz had rescued her, saving her from a fate of asphyxiating on the smoak in this mine. A vast expanse of furnaces and death all to create jewelry for despicable socialites. Tante Heleen’s necklace had come out of the mines. “Burns don’t hurt if they’ve done enough damage. Only the outer borders hurt but the nerves are essentially destroyed. If the burns are severe enough to cease hurting, your either dead from the extent or dead from infection.” 

“He was burned from the inside out.” Kaz’s voice was unsympathetic although his haunted looking eyes held an understanding. “Slowly somehow some Inferni was able to use that as a type of access port to burn him into a crisp. Insides all gooey and everything. And that wasn’t painless” 

“So… he became like those baked delicacies Nina introduced us to. With the gooey insides and toasted outsides. Those baked… whatevers?” Anika always tried so hard to cover the way her voice softened at the mention of Nina but Inej could see through it. 

“That’s awful.” and yet Inej couldn’t help from letting out a small breath of laughter. 

“I’m not endorsing cannibalism- it’s an analogy.” Saints, this was something that the both would miss. 

But Kaz seemed so agitated and it all came to an unexpected climax as he hoarsely shouted, “Shut up! Alright just- we don’t have time. For this. You don’t know what we’re dealing with okay?” 

Never had Anika seen Kaz so unhinged. Apparently Inej had been around when Kaz had torn out that rival kid’s eye which apparently came somewhat close to this but she had been unconscious. They exchanged a worried glance because something was definitely wrong. A chill crept over Inej, “How do you know?” that earned her a wary side eye. “Kaz, how the hell do you know what this is so well?” 

“I- simply that it is a ghost from many lifetimes ago.”  _ Don’t push me. This is private, this is something from the past come to tear me apart so for the love of your precious Saints keep quiet. _ “I mean it could be another. I’ve tracked the person throughout the Kerch countryside. Kept up on the reports but I could be mistaken. I barely have a scrap of memory of what the person looked like.” Even if he had been one, Kaz would remember at least half of everything. 

“Should I go get your friends at the Van Eck residence?” Anika clearly was desperate to do something, anything to be useful. She was trying to fufill the immense responsibility this trust brought. “Of course this didn’t happen unless you want it to boss?” At the near animalistic snarl the girl paled and lowered her head just a bit. Not enough to be meek or scared just enough to be respectfully submissive. 

“I have work I need to do.” and with that Kaz turned on his heel and limped out leaving the two of them sitting in a stunned silence. Something much bigger than anything they had faced before seemed to be at play. A new storm seemed to be brewing and when it broke, no one could guess the full extent of the fallout to occur. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo yeah ig just once again if u actually are still reading this story after this long- any sort of reviewing or comments about it would be really helpful in getting my brain back into creative mode. more cute sences between Jesper and Wylan or sad sences or less blah blah blah and try to get somewhere with the plot- basically feedback is good. anyways stay safe and wear a freaking mask yall!!!!!!


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so yeah i’m back and i’ve been working on a few chapters of this cause i’m terrible and inconsistant at any sort of updates. good news is there’s gonna be a bit more regular updates ish i’m hoping so yay more on that later ig- sorry with the growing popularity of soc on booktok and such i’m taking a kind of hiatus from my acotar works cause i’m too excited for acosf to think rn

**Chapter Five**

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Inej wanted with a near physical ache to just crawl into bed in her tiny cramped room, the window cracked the slightest bit. She wanted to savor the surprisingly comfort of familiarity and  _ home _ that she found in the Slat and with her Dregs. But with strange happenings, no one would know who the newest in the long line of enemies was next and any love was again a liability. Still there was nothing more familiar than flying across the city, leaping through the air and tumbling to the next roof, the sharp bite in the skin of hard wall as she scrabbled for any purchase as she climbed. Arriving back at the hotel, she let herself into the suite through the window, bypassing the front door entirely. 

“Maman? Papa?” As much as she could control her voice, she couldn’t do much right now about the apprehension rising in a tide of nausea. If her parents seemed taken aback or curious with her behavior they refrained from saying so as she gave them a quick kiss before heading out the door to the hallways. 

The first two she sat down with to have a little chat seemed to be comprised of a competent and experienced member that she could recall had always had a way with the kids in the barrel, good at negotiations and bribes with the youngest of the ratty children. The other half was clearly a trainee, new and terrified enough to wet himself and whose bumbling was grating in the situation. 

“It took me barely a thought to pick the locks and slide through the window. Want to tell me why your being so incompeten- never mind.” Snapping at them to deliver her message she went to get a room change to one of the inner suites that had no windows before finally returning to her parents. 

By the time she had gotten there, her parents had grown concernned at their daughter’s unusual behavior. “Honey what is it? What’s going on thats gotten you in such a panic?” The worry in her mothers eyes burned her soul, a branding reminder that she was not the daughter she used to be. She was a murderer, the second most feared whisper of the giant port city. A reputation she had earned by taking all the loving lessons of her family, and the families before that and using them to become a deadly shadow. 

_ Truth or lie? How much of her story was too much? But to lie to her parents….  _ “It’s a long story- a complicated one.” If she phrased it right it wouldn’t seem nearly as sinful, “I suppose long story short, my friends- the ones who saved me, we have accumulated a few enemies. We do what we need to survive but sometimes the people trying to hurt us get beat, humiliated and they seek recompense. My work in reconnaissance has made me a few enemies- remember how I told you I learned to move around the city learning the secrets of everyone?”  _ saints this is hard. _ She wondered how she had managed to get herself here. She had dodged their questions and now Kaz thought her parents knew and would most likely be pissed at the gap in information. She didn’t know how to tell him- she had never seen him like this and it felt more like dealing with one of Wylan’s little explosives. 

“Darling, there’s something going on and your shoulders are straining with a burden that we might ease just a bit.” Inej felt herself tense. Any more would be catastrophic, she doubted she would have any secrets if her father continued and then her parents would loathe the monster she had become. 

“No Papa,” a quick thank you to her saints for keeping her voice unwavering, “I cannot tell you everything. Please it, it pains me more than you know. But if keeping the darkness of this city from you keeps you safe and protects my friends- my other family I will happily shoulder the burdens for those I love.” 

“Inej. That is not your call to make.” Inej felt rather than saw her mothers fathomless eyes flash golden the way she had remembered from her earliest years. She had never been on the receiving end of the maternal wrath of protectiveness. “My daughter is not responsible for me. I am responsible for her. I’m not asking for any betrayal of friendships I just want to help.” 

“Maman,” a pounding ache was growing in her chest, her head. “Maman please.. I cannot tell you please understand that.” 

“You are my daughter!” Inej pressed down on the urge to flinch at the raw panic and despair in her mothers voice. “I do not know what happened when I lost you. I understand and respect that you might need time to process things your own way but you must tell me what is wrong now!” 

“Here come here.” Much to her relief her father stepped in between them and turned to engulf her mother. She couldn’t bear to see the enraged anguish in her mothers eyes. The hollow empty in her fathers eyes. 

“No!” Her mother gave a small suppressed sob into her fathers shoulder. A sound delivering a wound in her not unlike the knife that had gone into her that one time. She still remembered the haze of pain that had torn through her abdomen, her chest into the rest of her body with each jolting movement of an uneven run. The knowledge that she wouldn’t die today as she was awoken on that roof to a panicked pained voice tethering her to life. “I will not fail my child again! We cannot fail her again and to do right by her we need to know. We need to know.” 

“Inej, do you think you could get some cold water, maybe a cloth for your mother?” Her fathers voice offered a salvation. He still knew she functioned best with something to do. A sort escape from the rising panic of the situation. “Perhaps some- any information from your friends?” The offer was clear, a vulnerable pain in her fathers eyes as he fought his instinctual desire to solve the issues for her before she knew to preserve innocence and love. 

“Yes Papa,” they both knew she was no longer innocent enough that there was any harsh realities to shield her from. She knew the worst of the world but was her parents child and did not balk at the idea of fighting the horror. “I love you both I will come back as soon as possible.” 

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The Van Eck manor was strange to be called home to Wylan. The idea that it was all his, the shambles of his father’s merchant empire and the Council’s expectations quite frankly did not add up with the person he had grown into. The Wylan he was now was a member of the top levels in the ruling gang, someone who pulled off the impossible alongside legends to escape the most inpeneratrable fortresses, someone whose brain could make an explosive or corrosive or any other manor of deadly devices from the closest things around him. The only part of him that might have added up in this new bizarre equation was the annoying little whisper of a pettiness that happened to be one of the same colors off of Jesper’s most flashy waistcoats. 

He had gotten used to appearing like that little boy enough that his reflection could still startle him when he was half asleep or engrossed in something. Like cold water dousing him and yanking him from whatever mindful place his brain had set to work in. But at least there would never be any twin confusion. Wylan knew it was petty, knew compared to everything he had been through in the past months it was less than a minuscule concern. What with the gains and losses the auction had bought, that one little thing was something to not even think about. Yet whenever his mind drifted off into spaces too close to the painful intolerables that his time with the family he found- he would find all the pain was channeled into ruminating over the more than minor annoyance at the little brat. 

Of course Jesper thought this was hilarious. But Jesper never had an awful little look- a- like that tricked his perfect beautiful boyfriend into kissing the wrong twin. To Wylan the pettiness and jealousy over this was the only thing about him that seemed like it could thrive in his new role as the head of the company. For some odd reason Wylan had been the one that seemed to offer Nina something in the devastation left by the giant hole in space that Matthias filled. Wylan was happy to do whatever his new friend needed. But because of what had happened, Wylan now lived in a constant terror that one day Jesper might leave and never return. Or any one of them might be taken and come back in pieces like his mother. He loved her dearly for she was his mother nonetheless and yet she only acknowledged him a little over half the time. And remembered who he was to her half of that. There was no blame or resentment just gratitude she was there yet he cursed his fathers miserable existence perhaps more than he should. 

“Hey Wylan,” a voice chirped from outside the window that was very far from the ground. A kid about thirteen was dangling from the sill casually and he tried holding on with one hand to wave. Rushing to unlock the window and grab the kid before he could fall Wylan couldn’t help but chuckle at the kids indignation. 

“You can’t keep doing that Wy,” the kid whined, “I’ll never be good enough to think about becoming a spider if someone always catches me before I fall.” Kaz’s newest, which was a relative thing given the recent months, recruit of the Dregs was this skinny little kid who had been taken in along with his little sister. The young girl had the full protection of the Dregs behind her and was virtually untouchable. They had done odd jobs running crap and messages between the Slat and the Crow Club until two years ago. When the little kid had been old enough that Kaz had  _ let  _ him take the marks of one of them. It was so unlike Kaz to  _ let _ a kid do something like that; as though he were protecting them. Looking out for them if one didn’t know any better.

If the others saw how odd it was, how the ruthless gang lord Bastard of the Barrel had shown mercy and favor towards two little kids they didn’t comment on it. Wylan had asked Jesper once and his response was one of confusion. According to Kaz, “the two of the are handy to have- saves us useful people from wasting time one dumb errands.” And so everyone pretended that Jaymes and little Elia were… it was confusing to say the least. Jaymes had zero sense of self preservation due to thinking he was impervious to any harm something like gravity could do to him. He idolized Inej and when Roeder had been looking for little ones he could start training to be more spiders, well the only thing more exited would be some toddler getting a whole sweet shop. 

“Well you know I’m sure my boyfriend here would cut it out if you stopped ignoring the fact that falling off of buildings hurt like a bitch.” Jesper strode by twirling one of his beloved pistols, dropping a kiss on Wylans cheek as he went. The casualness of the act had Wylan’s heart shining and abdomen fluttery as though it was their first time holding hands again. 

“That’s only if you fall.” To his credit, the kid seemed to wholeheartedly believe his answer. “I don’t fall. Only weak people fall. And I haven’t fallen yet.” Jaymes threw back his shoulders defiantly as though saying  _ see, I can be the best. One day I will be the best. _ “I won’t fall.” 

Wylan let loose an exaggerated sigh ruffling the kids hair. He didn’t actually know how they’d bonded exactly just that the kids had recognized his mother in the midst of a crowded street during one of her episodes. Quickly figuring out that she believed she was running from Jan, he had brought her to the Slat to wait for Jesper to pick her up. Kaz had a fit when the scrawny little kid he was sheltering in a tiny pantry by the kitchen brought home Wylans mother. But the kid had done good and Wylan was still great full and now the kid would come by sometimes on his off days as he practiced clearly hoping to get someone’s attention to become a spider. 

“You know I’m sure if you asked Inej, even she would tell you she trained with a net once upon a time.” Jespers head was bent but he was certain the kids face was now a comical red smear. What they had once believed to be a crush was quickly brought to attention as the biggest case of adoration and hero worship. For all of his drooling over how she did this or that, the story of the incinerator and following her at a distance watching how she balanced and where she put her weight when scaling impossible things, the kid would always duck behind whatever was nearest and was content to blush furiously when Inej acknowledged him. 

“No way she’s the best of the best!” Jaymes clearly felt personally indigent on his hero’s behalf. 

“Yeah,” Jesper looked up and smirked. “I hear she even has something to catch her sometimes even now.” 

Wylan couldn’t help the uncomfortable shift in his body as he tried to pass off the flinch as leaning against the table. He tried so hard not to think of that because that night had been a non stop shit show right up until… He wasn’t the only one uncomfortable though. The kid was looking wildly around the room as though he had just witnessed a betrayal of the greatest levels. 

“She’s invincible though like the Boss.” Wylan realized the conversation turning towards the same lines of telling starry eyed babies that the Sankt Nikolai they believed would only bring them sweets and love had a lifetime of sorrows. 

Jesper, for all his beauty and charm was quite obviously oblivious to this devolving situation, pouring himself a drink and flinging his long legs over the arm of the small couch. “Boss isn’t invincible. I mean yeah he is but not in the way you think. He can fall, he just manages to fall into a good con somehow.” 

“Hey Jamie,” Wylan rolled his eyes and glared at his lover, “I think there’s a new candy being sold at our favorite place could you practice your way over there and pick some up? Ill get you some for yourself and sister if you do.” He reached in his pocket and tossed some Kruge at the kid who let out a small whoop and scrambled out the window and up onto the roof. 

“Most of the time. Almost every time he lands in victory of some con or another..” Jesper looked around then and he clearly had been zoned out enough to not notice the kids disappearance. “Where did he go?” 

“I sent him to pick up some of those candies.” Flopping down onto the sofa the little squeak Jesper made as the wind was knocked out with the sudden added whieght had Wylan laughing. “I had to do something before you crushed his giant hero worshipping heart.” 

“What?” Jesper let his fingers wander, content and at peace. “I was talking as someone who knows his idols more than he does isn’t that what people like.” 

“There just has to be a lot of caution and awareness in how we word things when telling kids that people aren’t the invincible gods they see.” a sigh rumbled below him, “I mean next time think while talking about the fact that Inej isn’t the goddess divine. She might be the humanly closest thing to one but still human.” 

Jesper noticed he was idly playing with Wylan’s hair, running the impossibly fluffed strands through and around his long fingers. “Your right,” then added hastily, “but on principle its not like we can let anyone worship Kaz like that. Might go to his head.”

A short half roll allowed for a brief kiss, sweet and slow. And cut off abruptly by Wylan loosing his balance as it deepened and fell off the couch onto his ass. The open window let Jesper’s howling laugh floated out of the windows and into the world. 

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Kaz was tense, ready for a fight that wasn’t happening today. But there had been reports of someone killed near the canal. Where the streets were always busy chock full of patrons and performers, the drunken sailor or two and a small stadwatch presence. In all fairness that last one meant nothing to any Ketterdam native worth their salt. It still didn’t change the fact that this was the second body dumped within a few blocks of each other. Two bodies carved up with intricate patterns carved into their backs, done in some grotesque art form. Enough blood to assume there was no secondary location that the killer used for privacy in carving up their victims. A different person than the torched bodies from his past. What might have worried him most though was that the sites were even closer still to the street that Matthias had bled out. The list of people who knew that certainly wasn’t as long as the list of enemies they had made from the few insane months. But the list also wasn’t a short one and it was no secret, the details of the stoic honorable Fjerdian’s death. And one of the victims had been a shifty owner that Tante Heleen had outsourced to and the other a patron of the menagerie. “What the actual fuck is happening?” 

“Hey,” Inej was normally so good at sneaking up on him but something was off. She seemed like she had seen a ghost. “I need to tell you something.” 

Kaz nodded to the reports he had Anika nick from the stadwatch, “Here.” Dragging a gloved hand down his face he studied the way her body tensed poised and ready to kill or run at the mention of the hellhole he had found her in. “Someone is sending a message. To us.” 

An unexpectedly ungraceful snort. “What else is new?” 

“So darling Inej, what can I do for you now?” Their old banter seemed so familiar yet like they were both hiding behind it like a child in their mothers skirts trying to avoid the soon approaching conversation. 

“I didn’t tell my parents anything about- I don’t want them to know but they, they wonder why I carry my knives. They wonder why my arm holds a ruined patch of flesh where that cursed brand once was. I told them I was a spy, that through the work that kept me alive I found family, friends and thats the truth. But-“ 

“But your ashamed of what I made you into.” The bitterness of the statement took Inej aback for a moment but astonished Kaz. 

“No. Maybe. But not like that.” Inej admitted quietly staring at her hands. “How do you imagine it would be to tell your parents you left their child and came back a whore, a monster, a murderer.” 

“You are  _ not _ a whore. You never were Inej, your many things but never that.” He was surprised by the intensity of his words. How vehemently, how true they were though. “Besides I can’t imagine. Because I am alone with only the ghosts of my parents to judge me.” Inej gave his hand a quick squeeze, somehow they had found their way together. She looked with those eyes, bottomless and in the depths the question was clear. He kept holding on though. The warmth of her skin, even through the leather of his gloves made a chill run through him. He hadn’t realized how cold it was in here. 

Rising unsteadily to his feet, he peeled the gloves off and made his way over to the small fireplace and set to work building a flame. Despite the rising ache and protests already sounding in his leg, he let himself enjoy the familiar movements as he coaxed a dancing wisp of fire higher. “I need you to go Inej.” 

“What?” Greatful his back was towards her, he winced inwardly at the shock and sting his words had. 

“I mean there is something brewing in these streets right now. At least two very real deadly threats in normally dangerous territories. We might be facing the worst thing yet.” At the harsh fury in her voice beginning to argue at how dare he think to send her to safety and away from danger he went back. “Your parents are not safe. And they are a liability in a time when we don’t know enough about the threats and enemies we face right now. I need you to take them home to Ravka. For their sakes and you can stay with them, sail wherever you want. I cannot have them in my city though, not when they will be targeted and taken as collateral damage in the inevitable fighting.” 

The firelight flickered over her face, caressing the soft full mouth and it’s curved upper lip, skittering down the long braid. “You are free, Inej.” He could feel himself swaying slightly and tried to casually lean against the small rickety mantle. Of course she saw through it in an instant and straightened ever so slightly. 

“How long has it been since you slept? When did you last eat?” 

“That’s not- I will after.” They stood in silent argument before meeting a compromise in their eyes. “You are free to hunt slavers, to go anywhere after you see your parents out of this place safely. I mean any information on your voyages would be appreciated.” 

“Where are you going with this Kaz?” Inej let settled into the windowsill, perched and curled up comfortably saying  _ your not getting rid of me so convince me. Convince me to agree to take them back home and then I will come back here to fight this battle because it is mine too. _

“You don’t need to come back, if you wish you can stay with your parents, you can start your hunt now. Your free and I am many things but I am not your owner Inej. You are not shackled to this life.” 

“Good I am glad to hear that. It’s quicker when we agree. Its my choice and I will not choose to cower or balk from my duty, my fight.” Any protest died on his lips at the glare flashing on her eyes, gone in an instant. “Kaz, you did something amazing you gave me my parents back when I thought they were lost forever. And thanks to you, now more than ever I must show the world I am their child. I do not run anywhere but towards the fight especially if Mathais’s killers may be involved.” 

Impulsively, Kaz crossed the room in three halting steps and took her hand slowly. Waiting for her anwser as he raised it and she nodded. Suppressing the shudders running through him at the sensation of her impossibly soft skin in his hands he made himself continue talking as though nothing were different. Voice slightly rough with the effort to control his breathing, in and out, he stared at her trying to lose himself and this sick and repulsed feeling in the fathomless wells of her eyes. “Well then, Inej, would you consider a little detour on your way back? Help an old friend out?” 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if ur even reading this anymore thanks for reading lmao  
> sorry my updates are worse than trash and inconsistant is a too generous word but i promise i’ve been writing a ton so they’ll be some more updates like at least once a week (just dont want to flood the story or something)   
> anyways if your still here lemme know how your doing, if you need any resources and any critiques and such for the story


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